I will write more on this post when I have some time, but I wanted to pop in real quick and say sorry for neglecting this blog for so long. I'm back in college and have been extremely busy with school & work.
The big news is that I am being received into the Church at Easter and am super-excited about it.
But more on that later (within the week, but most likely on the weekend when I have time to flesh out this post.
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Reassurance
I sometimes have to laugh at how things work out. The day after making a post about reluctance and reservations on joining the church and feeling like I may not be ready, two things happened that helped reassure me.
One was a random conversation with a teacher that led to finding out she was also a Catholic convert (rare in my area), and then into talking about our religious backgrounds and her own conversion experience. This isn't exactly a normal topic of conversational topic for teacher in my secular, public, college, so it was surprising but was also just what I needed to hear at the time. The really striking part is that she described some of the same reservations I have been having, without me even mentioning them, and went on to say how confession and the sacraments were the very things that helped her to overcome them.
Then, in case I didn't get the message, the same things came up again during RCIA that night. Apparently, most of my worries are pretty common and my priest is used to helping people work through them. Just being back at RCIA (I had missed 2 weeks due to family/work conflicts) and hearing people talk and share helped me a lot. We have a mix of new coverts, long-time Catholics, and reverts, and the honesty about our own faults and fears, combined with welcoming and encouragement also did a lot to remind me that we all come from different pasts and are at different places, but all are still welcomed.
Long story short, I feel a lot better about things now.
I also had a long discussion with my husband over the previous weekend and into this week that has put my more at ease with the effect my conversion may have on my marriage and family.
One was a random conversation with a teacher that led to finding out she was also a Catholic convert (rare in my area), and then into talking about our religious backgrounds and her own conversion experience. This isn't exactly a normal topic of conversational topic for teacher in my secular, public, college, so it was surprising but was also just what I needed to hear at the time. The really striking part is that she described some of the same reservations I have been having, without me even mentioning them, and went on to say how confession and the sacraments were the very things that helped her to overcome them.
Then, in case I didn't get the message, the same things came up again during RCIA that night. Apparently, most of my worries are pretty common and my priest is used to helping people work through them. Just being back at RCIA (I had missed 2 weeks due to family/work conflicts) and hearing people talk and share helped me a lot. We have a mix of new coverts, long-time Catholics, and reverts, and the honesty about our own faults and fears, combined with welcoming and encouragement also did a lot to remind me that we all come from different pasts and are at different places, but all are still welcomed.
Long story short, I feel a lot better about things now.
I also had a long discussion with my husband over the previous weekend and into this week that has put my more at ease with the effect my conversion may have on my marriage and family.
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Cold Feet?
It's been a while since I posted, but I wanted to say that I'm still here.
I've been wrestling with a few things over the past couple months and spending a lot of time reading, studying, and praying. During this time, I thought it was best to take a break from blogging so that I could just listen and not worry about what to post or how it might be viewed.
Without getting too much into detail, there are some things in my personal life that are going to make converting challenging and might cause issues with my husband if they are not approached the right way. I knew this from the start, but he has been more open in the past few months about why he rejected Christianity and how he was hurt by "church people" in the past. It feels like he might be opening up a little more, but I need to be careful so he doesn't feel like I'm rejecting him in favor f the church.
I also want to make sure I'm not rushing into things. At first, it seemed like a year of waiting, RCIA, etc., etc was going to take forever. Now, I'm wondering if it might not be prudent to wait another year before being confirmed. This might just be a case of "cold feet", but I have been a little flaky in the past and want to be sure I am not going to change my mind in the future. I guess I have seen to many quick conversions in the Protestant world where people join a church, are uber-zealous for a few months or even years, and then disappear or move on to another church or denomination. I don't want to do that. It was a big deal to me to leave my former Baptist church, in part because of the membership vows we made.
This seems much more important and binding somehow, so I want to be sure I am able to follow through and do plan on being Catholic for the rest of my life and raising my son in the faith. Maybe I'm just over-thinking things. I do believe that this is the Church Christ founded and where the fullness of truth is found, and I am in agreement with the church, so there's no real reason for me to hesitate other than wanting to know that I am sure.
Of course, part of that is because of certain recurring sins in my life as well. I'm not talking about something that would be acceptable in most Protestant churches either, but there are things I am frequently tempted to return to, including at least one serious sin. Part of me is scared that I might gave into it after converting and I almost feel like I need to know it's conquered beforehand, even though the more rational part of my mind says that the means of grace that come through the Church would probably be the best thing to help me keep resisting temptation.
I'm guessing I'm not the only one to have these same thoughts, and I am going to talk with my priest about it and see what he thinks, but I am wondering if anyone else out there went through a similar thing and how they got over it.
I've been wrestling with a few things over the past couple months and spending a lot of time reading, studying, and praying. During this time, I thought it was best to take a break from blogging so that I could just listen and not worry about what to post or how it might be viewed.
Without getting too much into detail, there are some things in my personal life that are going to make converting challenging and might cause issues with my husband if they are not approached the right way. I knew this from the start, but he has been more open in the past few months about why he rejected Christianity and how he was hurt by "church people" in the past. It feels like he might be opening up a little more, but I need to be careful so he doesn't feel like I'm rejecting him in favor f the church.
I also want to make sure I'm not rushing into things. At first, it seemed like a year of waiting, RCIA, etc., etc was going to take forever. Now, I'm wondering if it might not be prudent to wait another year before being confirmed. This might just be a case of "cold feet", but I have been a little flaky in the past and want to be sure I am not going to change my mind in the future. I guess I have seen to many quick conversions in the Protestant world where people join a church, are uber-zealous for a few months or even years, and then disappear or move on to another church or denomination. I don't want to do that. It was a big deal to me to leave my former Baptist church, in part because of the membership vows we made.
This seems much more important and binding somehow, so I want to be sure I am able to follow through and do plan on being Catholic for the rest of my life and raising my son in the faith. Maybe I'm just over-thinking things. I do believe that this is the Church Christ founded and where the fullness of truth is found, and I am in agreement with the church, so there's no real reason for me to hesitate other than wanting to know that I am sure.
Of course, part of that is because of certain recurring sins in my life as well. I'm not talking about something that would be acceptable in most Protestant churches either, but there are things I am frequently tempted to return to, including at least one serious sin. Part of me is scared that I might gave into it after converting and I almost feel like I need to know it's conquered beforehand, even though the more rational part of my mind says that the means of grace that come through the Church would probably be the best thing to help me keep resisting temptation.
I'm guessing I'm not the only one to have these same thoughts, and I am going to talk with my priest about it and see what he thinks, but I am wondering if anyone else out there went through a similar thing and how they got over it.
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
RCIA & other stuff
I just wanted to check in since it's been a while since I posted.
I'm still going to RCIA and Mass at St. Charles and really liking it there. Much of what we have covered in RCIA so far is stuff I'd already learned through reading and studying before deciding to covert, but I have learned some new things in Father Ken is great at explaining things. Listening to him and hearing other people's questions and his response, has also made certain things more clear. It's good to be able to ask questions and to hear others ask things I'd never thought of and to have a chance to meet and get to know people.
When I first heard about RCIA, I was like "seriously, all that to join a church?", but I have begun to appreciate it it much more and I do think it's making me take my faith more seriously and like I can make a fuller commitment because I will know more about the Church and her beliefs.
It's also been cool meeting and talking to some of the other people. Right now, the only ones in the class who aren't Catholic and weren't raised in Catholic families are me and one other guy who has been coming with his girlfriend, both in their 20s, I think. I figured they were both from similar backgrounds, but she seemed to know a lot about the church and to be very traditional-minded and reverent. It turns out she was raised Catholic and he was raised very similar to me, within the same small group of fundamentalist Baptists.
We spent a while talking about everything from why we left fundamentalism to some of the changes in the church after Vatican II (she asked a question about the SSPX and Bishop Lefebvre last week), and we got to talking about where the nearby Latin masses were (nearby being a relative term, being 1-2 hours away). She asked if a certain one was celebrated with the priest ad orientem because "that's how it should be, with the priest focused on the altar and Christ, not on us" and inwardly I was like "wow, I found someone who gets it". I'm glad to see other young people who are young and traditionalist, yet also faithful to the Church and the Magisterium, because one gets the impression online that many traditionalists are either sedvacantist or leaning that way
I'm attending Mass at St. Charles on most Sundays and usually at St. Francis on Saturdays, because they have Eucharistic Adoration in the hour before Mass begins. Once school starts, I will try to arrange my schedule so I can go to weekday mass near the college, but it's not been an option with my son home because I haven't taught him to be still and quiet well enough to make it through Mass without being a huge distraction yet. I'm still in awe of the Mass. I don't know how to put it into words really, but it is so different than any other type of church service I've ever been in. There's just something about kneeling in prayer, looking up into the face of Jesus on the cross above the altar, and knowing that He is present there with us that is amazing.
I'm still going to RCIA and Mass at St. Charles and really liking it there. Much of what we have covered in RCIA so far is stuff I'd already learned through reading and studying before deciding to covert, but I have learned some new things in Father Ken is great at explaining things. Listening to him and hearing other people's questions and his response, has also made certain things more clear. It's good to be able to ask questions and to hear others ask things I'd never thought of and to have a chance to meet and get to know people.
When I first heard about RCIA, I was like "seriously, all that to join a church?", but I have begun to appreciate it it much more and I do think it's making me take my faith more seriously and like I can make a fuller commitment because I will know more about the Church and her beliefs.
It's also been cool meeting and talking to some of the other people. Right now, the only ones in the class who aren't Catholic and weren't raised in Catholic families are me and one other guy who has been coming with his girlfriend, both in their 20s, I think. I figured they were both from similar backgrounds, but she seemed to know a lot about the church and to be very traditional-minded and reverent. It turns out she was raised Catholic and he was raised very similar to me, within the same small group of fundamentalist Baptists.
We spent a while talking about everything from why we left fundamentalism to some of the changes in the church after Vatican II (she asked a question about the SSPX and Bishop Lefebvre last week), and we got to talking about where the nearby Latin masses were (nearby being a relative term, being 1-2 hours away). She asked if a certain one was celebrated with the priest ad orientem because "that's how it should be, with the priest focused on the altar and Christ, not on us" and inwardly I was like "wow, I found someone who gets it". I'm glad to see other young people who are young and traditionalist, yet also faithful to the Church and the Magisterium, because one gets the impression online that many traditionalists are either sedvacantist or leaning that way
I'm attending Mass at St. Charles on most Sundays and usually at St. Francis on Saturdays, because they have Eucharistic Adoration in the hour before Mass begins. Once school starts, I will try to arrange my schedule so I can go to weekday mass near the college, but it's not been an option with my son home because I haven't taught him to be still and quiet well enough to make it through Mass without being a huge distraction yet. I'm still in awe of the Mass. I don't know how to put it into words really, but it is so different than any other type of church service I've ever been in. There's just something about kneeling in prayer, looking up into the face of Jesus on the cross above the altar, and knowing that He is present there with us that is amazing.
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Feeling at Home In My New Home Parish
I went to Mass at St. Charles today. It's a little bit further away than St. Francis, but it took me a little less time to drive. It's also the parish I should be in based on my address, as I recently found out.
I wasn't really sure what to expect. The church has a reputation for being very involved in social justice and with our local immigrant community, but I didn't know much about their worship style. I was very pleasantly surprised.
They have a wonderful choir and the propers and antiphons were sung, with most of the ordinary in Latin. They also had plenty of altar severs and used the incense, bells, etc that I associate more the Tridentine Mass. It was great seeing the respect given to the Word of God during the gospel reading, which was read (chanted!) from the middle of the aisle, Anglican-style, the congregation turning to face and follow the Bible.
I also really like the way the church itself is set up. In addition the the crucifix and statues at the front, they have several icons on the walls on both sides behind the altar, very similar to the icon corners I have seen in Orthodox and Byzantine Catholic homes. They also have images of the stations of the cross around the church. From where I was seated, I could see a large painting of St. Monica, which was very reassuring to me because she is one of the saints I feel like I have a special connection with.
The people were also very nice and very welcoming. I tend to be a bit on the shy side but I still had several people introduce themselves to me and a few start conversations. I asked one lady where the nursery was, so I could bring my son with me until he's old enough to sit still and be quiet through the whole Mass, and we started talking a little. When I told her I was going to be starting RCIA soon, she asked more about my background and offered to be my sponsor. It seems like we have some things in common.
I will be starting RCIA tomorrow night. Instead of starting at a certain time each year, they are pretty open and just invite you to drop by. I have done a lot of reading and study on Catholicism and have worked through the Baltimore Catechism, so at least I won't be jumping in totally ignorant.
I wasn't really sure what to expect. The church has a reputation for being very involved in social justice and with our local immigrant community, but I didn't know much about their worship style. I was very pleasantly surprised.
They have a wonderful choir and the propers and antiphons were sung, with most of the ordinary in Latin. They also had plenty of altar severs and used the incense, bells, etc that I associate more the Tridentine Mass. It was great seeing the respect given to the Word of God during the gospel reading, which was read (chanted!) from the middle of the aisle, Anglican-style, the congregation turning to face and follow the Bible.
I also really like the way the church itself is set up. In addition the the crucifix and statues at the front, they have several icons on the walls on both sides behind the altar, very similar to the icon corners I have seen in Orthodox and Byzantine Catholic homes. They also have images of the stations of the cross around the church. From where I was seated, I could see a large painting of St. Monica, which was very reassuring to me because she is one of the saints I feel like I have a special connection with.
The people were also very nice and very welcoming. I tend to be a bit on the shy side but I still had several people introduce themselves to me and a few start conversations. I asked one lady where the nursery was, so I could bring my son with me until he's old enough to sit still and be quiet through the whole Mass, and we started talking a little. When I told her I was going to be starting RCIA soon, she asked more about my background and offered to be my sponsor. It seems like we have some things in common.
I will be starting RCIA tomorrow night. Instead of starting at a certain time each year, they are pretty open and just invite you to drop by. I have done a lot of reading and study on Catholicism and have worked through the Baltimore Catechism, so at least I won't be jumping in totally ignorant.
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